


realizations too late

by Anonymous



Series: a god and a human [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, Abuse of Authority, Angst, Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Guilt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, No Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Starvation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-21 07:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dream is dead and the rest of the server slowly begins to realize that they aren't as perfect as they thought they were.SEQUEL TO 'A FLAWED DEAL'
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), past Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: a god and a human [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200233
Comments: 182
Kudos: 474
Collections: anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: SELF-HARM, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

George couldn’t move. He was collapsed on the floor, unable to do anything but grip the porcelain mask on his hands tighter as if it might slip right through his fingers and be taken along with the rest of Dream. Dream. Dream was _gone_. 

Dream was de-

He held the mask tighter. 

The world around him continued to move. Something was screaming. For a second, George wondered if it was himself before he realized that the sound wasn’t even something close to human. George’s head snapped up. _The egg._

_Fuck_. He’d forgotten all about that. 

DreamXD seemed to have figured it out though. He was doing...something to it. George really couldn’t tell through the tears but the egg was shriveling up into itself, turning from a muddy yellow (though he had been told it was actually red) into a light blue. Gradually, it withered away into nothing but an empty broken shell.

And just like that, the egg that had terrorized the server for years was finally gone. 

George tried to feel some sense of joy but he couldn't. Dream was gone. The server was free but Dream was _gone_. George pulled the mask impossibly closer. He tried to speak, maybe to thank DreamXD or maybe to yell at him for taking Dream but he couldn’t get a word out. 

“It worked. That mad bastard actually did it,” Tommy broke the silence, disbelief evident in his voice. Another pause and then, in a much smaller voice. “He..he can’t really be gone right?” A sob broke through George before he could stop it. “He can’t! He’s Dream. Dream can’t. He can’t die. That green bitch wouldn’t die if we dragged him to hell itself and locked him there.” Tommy was rambling now but George found himself nodding along to every word. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” Sapnap agreed, voice cracking as he spoke. “He’s not dead. He just respawned. Probably laughing his ass off at us in the prison right now.” 

Hope swelled in George’s chest and finally, his voice began working again. “We’re going to go in there and hear his stupid wheezing from a mile away and he’s going to call us idiots for believing that and it’s going to be okay.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Sapnap repeated.

George felt like an idiot for believing anything else. Of course Dream wasn’t dead. Dream was Dream. Dream wouldn’t go down like that. Not without a fight and some dramatic monologue. He wouldn't let himself die by essentially a suicide mission. No, he was too self-centered for that. 

~~_‘Or was he?_ ’ a traitorous part of his brain whispered _‘How many times has Dream taken a hit for you? Protected you with his life? Gave you more resources than he could afford to just because you asked?’._ George chose to ignore it. ~~

Yeah, Dream was simply too much of an egotistical prick to do anything like that. He must still be alive. He had to be. 

A shout from outside broke through his thoughts. George listened harder, there seemed to be multiple of them yelling and...laughing? Then, it clicked. The rest of the server must have been freed.

A grin made its way onto George’s face as he stuffed the mask into his satchel and stood up. Things were fine. The egg was gone, the server was free, and Dream was okay. ~~_Dream was okay he had to be okay what would George do if he wasn’t okay? How would he survive?_ ~~

Soon enough, people were crowding into the now empty egg room, still laughing and shouting. George even spotted a few already crying. Many of them hadn’t properly spoken to each other in months and they’d all missed each other. 

At first, even those most attached to the egg had plenty of time free from it until they were called. They could spend entire days (mostly) free from its influence if the egg wasn't calling them. But, eventually, it took more and more of their time up until a couple of months ago where they had been completely under the control of the egg at all times. It had hit Sapnap the hardest. Both of his fiances had gotten infected and now spent their time actively hunting them down. He went quiet nearly all the time, only really speaking to George and even then, his answers were clipped and left no room for proper conversation. 

So, when he locked eyes with Karl and Quackity, he ran at them faster than George had ever seen Sapnap run and immediately tackled them both. George smiled at the sight and promised himself he would do the same with Dream next time he saw him. After yelling at him for faking a canon death of course. 

~~But it wasn't faked. Dream was dead and everyone was celebrating. How could they be celebrating when Dream was dead. Dream was _dead._ ~~

George pushed the thought away and pulled Bad in for another hug. Dream was fine. Probably moping that he was back in the prison or something. Everything was fine. It had to be.

\-----

After hours of tearful reunions and apologies, someone looked around and curiously asked, “How did you even get rid of the egg?”

Sam, who had been talking with Ponk immediately stiffened and whipped his head around the room. His face paled as he found nothing.

“Where the hell is Dream?” 

Instantly, the happiness from the room was drained and everyone pulled out a weapon, ready to strike the second they saw the blonde. Arguments broke out immediately. 

“You guys took Dream out of the prison? Seriously?” 

“And then lost him!”

“Godammit. I thought we agreed to leave that bastard in there.” 

George opened his mouth to speak and reassure them that Dream was back in prison when another voice spoke instead. 

“He is gone.” It was DreamXD. George looked around for the voice in confusion. Hadn't he left? But then George spotted him walking out of a dark corner that he must have been in this whole time.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?” Bad asked hesitantly. 

“He gave his last canon life to save the server. He’s dead”. And at those words, George’s false reality began to fall apart. 

“George? Sapnap? Is he saying the truth?” Sam asked. After receiving no answer, he tried again. ”Guys? Tommy?”

“N-No Well, we saw him die but it couldn’t have been canon. It was practically a suicide. Not very Dream-esque if you know what I mean.” Tommy let out an awkward laugh as he spoke. 

The room was silent for only a moment before everyone started arguing again. 

“So is he dead or not?” 

“Are you sure this isn’t another trick?” 

“What do you mean a suicide?” 

“CAN SOMEONE JUST EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?” The room fell silent once more and all eyes turned to Sapnap and George. 

“It’s...complicated.” George took a deep breath before the explanation tumbled out of him. “We just brought him out to take care of the egg. And I mean, he was a mess. Looked like he hadn’t eaten in weeks and was covered in these- in these scars. Then he started talking in this weird language and DreamXD joined the surver. They started talking about risks or something and it turns out that Dream used part of DreamXD or something. And to get enough power to get rid of the egg XD had to-” George’s breath caught in his throat as he tried to force the words out but they refused. “He- He's- He can’t be dead.” His voice broke and he looked up at the raven-haired man a couple of steps away from him. “Sapnap, he can’t be dead. He has to have respawned.” 

  
  


Sapnap opened his mouth to respond but DreamXD cut him off. “He hasn’t.” George was almost taken aback at the anger that was in his voice. “It’s a bit too late to care about him now isn’t it? Only after he’s gone do you decide to worry. And even then, you won’t even accept it.” The god shook his head and stood up. “Here, let me show you how he was living for these past years considering you never even tried to visit.” DreamXD stretched a hand out to him. 

George hesitated for only a moment before he took the offered hand. DreamXD nodded at him and that was all the warning George got before he found himself standing in the middle of an obsidian room. 

The first thing that George processed was just how hot it was. He tried to use the wall for support after being literally teleported by a god only to pull it away immediately. The obsidian burned. Well, not actually but it was certainly enough to hurt.

Then, the smell hit him. A mixture of rotting food which George immediately linked to the concerningly large pile of rotting potatoes and...burnt flesh. 

George’s eyes widened as he identified the second one. Dream couldn't have...No, that would be ridiculous. 

But the smell, the scars, and..oh god the notifications too. His heart sank as he began to click the pieces together. 

_(_ **_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

_Concern shot through George the first time he got the message._

_‘Are you okay?’ was typed out on his communicator before he even processed it. It was a habit he had formed years ago, even before they had started dating. Then, right before hitting send, he hesitated. Dream was in the prison now. Dream had left him. Dream deserved anything that was happening to him. He deleted the message._

_\-----_

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

_The next time it was a week later and three messages came, only a couple minutes in between each. ‘Good,’ George thought, ignoring the worry gnawing at every part of him, ‘it’s what he deserves._

_It continued on like that for the months following. Every day without fail, he would get multiple pings with the same death message every time. And every time, he ignored them even as his concern grew._

_\-----_

**_Dream whispers to you: sam is letting me use my communicator for an hour since im on good behavior_ **

_George sat there stunned as he stared at the message before him. Should he answer? Did Dream even deserve an answer from him? Part of him begged to type out something- anything. Just wanting to talk to his beloved once again. But, still, he sat there doing nothing._

**_Dream whispers to you: love, please. let me explain. im sorry_ **

_Dream was...apologizing? No. No, Dream wouldn’t apologize. His ego was too big for that, it always was. This was probably a trick. It had to be._

**_Dream whispers to you: please i havnt spoken to somene in so long. george i love you im sorry_ **

_He made his mind up. No response. Dream was just lying- trying to manipulate him or something. George put his communicator away and muted it, intent on ignoring it for the next hour. He went to find Sapnap who was unsurprisingly in the same situation, staring at his communicator as the messages came through. They stayed together for that entire hour, neither mentioning Dream nor the messages. Though the second the hour was up, excuses were immediately made for both parties to leave so they could check their communicators._

**_Dream whispers to you: george?_ **

**_Dream whispers to you: imsorry. im so sorryim sorryimsorryimsorysorry sorrysosorry_ **

**_Dream whispers to you: i dont blame you for ignoring me. i deserve it. i did so many terrible things, trust me i know. im trying to be better. just know that i love you always._ **

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

**_Dream tried to swim in lava_ **

_And to George’s horror, the death messages kept coming. Again and again for the rest of day. No one on the server mentioned them but the effect was obvious. The air was filled with tension and all conversation was awkward. George didn’t even know how it was possible for a person to do that to themselves that many times. The kind of pain that many deaths must entail was frankly terrifying._

_After it became increasingly obvious he wasn’t stopping, George just muted him permanently._

_‘It’s for attention he repeated to himself. ‘he wouldn’t do this for any other reason. George tried not to think about it anymore after that.)_

_‘Dream must have never stopped,’_ George thought, feeling sick. _‘He probably threw himself into that lava for days after. Probably kept doing it daily after that, knowing him._ ’ George wanted to scream. Dream had spent the last couple of years throwing himself into lava regularly and no one had cared. George hadn't cared. And just as a fresh round of tears began falling down his face, he noticed something else.

The cell was empty. 

Not a single person other than him and DreamXD were in there. There was no familiar wheezing or bright green hoodie. Dream wasn’t here. Panic began to claw at him as George began to desperately search every inch of the cell. He even went as far as to search the pile of potatoes and throw everything out of the chest like Dream might have been able to hide in there but there was nothing. 

Finally, George’s shaking legs gave out under him as he slowly began to accept it.

That was a canon death. 

Dream was really gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: EATING ISSUES, STARVATION, ABUSE OF POWER

“Have you accepted it yet?”

George’s head snapped up and he saw DreamXD standing above him. Pure, unfiltered rage shot through him at the sight. DreamXD was the one to take him away- to let Dream die. He pushed himself up, ignoring the way his legs felt like paper, about to crumble at any second.

“You. You! You’re the one that let him die. We came to you for help and you just took him.” George was practically yelling at this point. “You let him kill himself! Why didn’t you-” He only got a few more sentences out before he was sobbing. “He’s dead. He’s fucking dead. You could’ve-”

“Could’ve what?” DreamXD asked sharply. “Refused? Let the egg take over?” George’s eyes widened at the anger coming from the god in front of him. He’d never seen DreamXD act like this. He’d always been nothing but kind to the server- especially to George. “He wouldn’t have let me. Maybe we could have found another way but death was better than what you offered him. What was it- ten more years in this hellhole and then exile? He wouldn’t have survived another year in here. Did you even see him?” George looked away guiltily but he knew DreamXD was right. The first time he’d set eyes on Dream after he was out of his cell, he hardly recognized him.

_ (George couldn’t believe the man he was looking at was Dream. _

_ Dream was always the kind of guy that attention was drawn to immediately. He was all bright-colored hoodies, loud laughter, and he had an ego you could spot a mile away. Everything from his height to his strength to his personality made him almost impossible to ignore. _

_ But the man that was crossing the platform with Sam was...nothing like that. His dirty hoodie was barely holding itself together and it was...concerningly large on him. Even though it used to fit him perfectly, now it slipped down his shoulder and revealed a patchwork of scars that George knew for a fact hadn’t been there before. So many new scars. Even his posture had changed and Dream stood hunched like he was trying to make himself smaller. Nothing about him even hinted at the old, confident Dream that George knew.  _

_ Maybe the prison was worse than he thought.) _

“Do you want to know who’s really at fault here?” DreamXD asked and George nodded immediately. “C’mon then.” He reached out his hand once again and this time, George didn’t hesitate for a moment before grabbing it. And just like that, they were in the egg room once again. 

\-----

The room had dissolved right back into pointless shouting the moment that DreamXD and George left. Sapnap stood by the edge of the crowd, silent, as he watched the rest of them fight. Honestly, he couldn’t even tell what they were talking about. The only words he could properly make out were “Dream” and “prison”. Everything else was just a jumble of gibberish to him. 

Sapnap wanted to scream at all of them to just shut the hell up. His brother might be dead and they were all just standing around arguing like a bunch of idiots. 

Instead, he leaned on a wall and tried to get himself under control so he didn’t just pointlessly snap at someone or lose control of his fire again. Being a blaze hybrid had its perks but quite literally bursting into flame every time he got too angry was not one of them. 

Godammit. When was George coming back? Sapnap needed to talk to him. Needed to know if Dream was okay or not. Needed to know if Dream was even alive. He had to be.  _ He had to. _

Then, a soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Sap? Are you okay?” Some of the tension drained out of him as he recognized his fiance’s voice. Karl was standing in front of him, worry evident on his face and he reached a soft hand out to touch his cheek. “Sapnap?” Sapnap shook his head in response, not trusting his voice enough to speak. “Look, I know it’s hard to admit that Dream is-”

“He’s not.” The denial was out of his mouth before he could stop it. “I- I know what DreamXD said but George is going to come back any minute and he’s going to tell us that he respawned. He isn’t dead, he can’t be.” 

Karl didn’t answer, just stared at him with a sad, knowing look and pulled him into a hug. Sapnap melted into the touch, desperate for any sort of comfort he could get. 

He only got a moment of it though because right as he began to relax, a blinding flash of white went through the room and everyone fell silent. 

George and DreamXD were back. Sapnap pulled away immediately and scanned for the pair. His eyes locked into George and instantly, his anxiety kicked in tenfold. 

The older was barely standing and even from a distance, Sapnap could easily see that he was sobbing. Without another thought, he took off in his direction and pulled him away from DreamXD immediately. 

“What the fuck did you do to him?” Sapnap hissed, letting the British man collapse onto him as he cried. 

DreamXD didn’t look the slightest bit intimidated. “All I did was show him the prison. And then he asked to see who was at fault for Dream’s death so, here I am.” 

“Sap.” George managed to choke out. “Sapnap he’s gone. He didn’t respawn. Sapnap he’s dead. He’s fucking dead.” Sapnap froze as George continued to sob into his chest. 

Dream was really gone. 

His brother was dead. 

Sapnap couldn’t think. How could he have let this happen? It happened just a couple of feet away from him and he hadn’t been able to stop it. He couldn’t protect him. 

“Who?” Sapnap asked, barely keeping the tremble out of his voice. “You said you would show him who was at fault for Dream’s death. Who was it? Because so far the only one here I see at fault is you.” His hand fell to the sword at his side as he started at DreamXD, rage filling through him.

DreamXD chuckled. “Really? Me? It’s ridiculous that you all think it’s my fault here. I only had two options. Either get rid of the egg and let Dream finally be free or reject his offer and let him die in that prison of yours. His death was a mercy. Besides, the server always comes first. It’s in our code. We exist to protect.” 

“Mercy? You killed him!” Sapnap went to pull his sword out but George pushed his hand away before he reached it. 

“He’s right,” George said in a small voice. “That prison it’s..terrible. Sapnap, it would be terrible to let an  _ animal _ live in there. Much less a human.”

Sapnap’s eyebrows furrowed. “It wasn’t that bad. Terrible but not…” His voice trailed off. Actually, the more he thought about it, it was pretty inhumane. He’d only been there once, over two years ago, so his memory wasn’t the best but from what he remembered, Dream’s cell had been nothing but a small obsidian box with a couple of items inside. At the time, Sapnap would have easily said that Dream deserved it but now? Honestly, Sapnap couldn’t think of any crime that would make  _ anyone _ deserve to spend years in a place like that.

“You don’t even know the worst of it. But...thankfully for us, we have a certain someone here who does.” DreamXD motioned at someone in the crowd to come forward. “Sam, come here.” Sapnap turned to look at the hybrid as the crowd parted for him to move. He shuffled to the front awkwardly and even though his face was covered by a mask, the tension was obvious in his body language. “Or should I say, Warden? C’mon, why don’t you explain what happened in that prison.”

Sam was silent for a moment before responding. “...It was nothing he didn’t deserve.”

Dread began creeping up on Sapnap as he watched the exchange. What had Sam  _ done _ ? The anger was back and this time, it was directed towards Sam at full force. “Sam you were just supposed to keep watch over him and make sure he didn’t escape.” Sapnap made eye contact with Sam as he spoke. “What. Did. You. Do.” A bit of flame began to swirl in the air. 

This time, George didn’t stop him from pulling out his sword and pointing it at Sam. 

Sam paled at the sight but didn’t back down. “He manipulated Tommy! He literally threatened to kill Tubbo, he deserved everything I did to him.”

Sapnap glared and tightened his grip on his sword. “That’s not an answer. You either tell me or I will take a canon life. Right here, right now.”

The threat hung heavy in the air and after a couple of beats, Sam finally put his hands up in defeat. “Fine. It wasn’t even that bad. I just took away his food privileges whenever he was annoying. Or sometimes when I was bored I would mess with him a little.” 

The room was silent for only a second before Sapnap exploded, fire bursting in every direction as he shouted. “Food  _ privileges _ ? That’s a basic fucking human right.” George stepped away from Sapnap as he marched up to Sam, sword pointed straight to his throat. “And what the fuck does ‘mess with him’ mean?” The tip of his sword was lightly pressing into the creeper hybrid’s skin and Sapnap was almost tempted to just take a canon life right then. 

“Sapnap, can you calm down a bit? Look, we all want to know what happened but we can’t figure anything out like this.” Punz asked slowly, voice irritatingly calm. Sapnap grumbled but relented and took a step back, letting the fire calm just a bit. 

Everyone turned to Sam to finish speaking but he remained stubbornly quiet. Right as Sapnap began considering threatening him again, DreamXD sighed and began talking.

“If the Warden refuses to explain what he did, I can.” Sam’s posture went rigid as he stared at the god in shock. He looked scared. Good. “I know everything that goes on in this server and you were an idiot to think your actions would go unnoticed. The only reason I didn’t have you exposed and dealt with a long time ago is because Dream called in several favors just to protect you.” Sam looked properly afraid now like he might try and run at any moment but DreamXD kept talking. “Sam starved Dream. Repeatedly. Sometimes, he simply forgot to even feed him. It got to a point where he stopped eating on his own, claiming it was his punishment. Sam also had a habit of ignoring Dream for days, sometimes longer, just to see him break because he couldn’t speak to anyone. Solitary confinement is a literal form of torture for anyone that isn’t aware. And after he realized everyone had Dream muted, he took it upon himself to just kill him whenever he was misbehaving. It wasn’t just prison, it was literal torture.”

There was a minute of complete silence, all eyes on Sapnap as they waited for a reaction. Guilt was clawing at him, making him just want to curl up and die on the spot. He’d helped put Dream there. Dream was dead and he had been suffering for years and Sapnap did nothing. But even stronger than the overbearing guilt was boiling hot rage. He was going to kill Sam. 

Before anyone could stop him, Sapnap was lunging at Sam. His vision was red, his body almost entirely aflame, and all he wanted to do was drive his sword straight through that asshole’s heart. 

Sam stumbled back, pulling out his own sword and shield and just barely managing to block the first hit. All cries of protest and disbelief from the gathered members of the server,  _ Dream's server, _ fell on deaf ears as Sapnap continued to slash at the man who had dared to hurt the one he had claimed as his brother.

Finally, he managed to break the shield and after a bit more fighting, knock the sword out of his hands. He raised the sword once more to deliver the final blow. But before he could, Sapnap was being pulled back by someone from the crowd. Fuck, they must have made fire resistance. He tried to struggle against it but more and more people kept joining them until nearly half the room was focused on stopping Sapnap. 

“SOMEONE KNOCK HIM OUT!” Sapnap heard someone yell and after a couple of moments, a glass bottle was being pushed into his mouth and his vision began to cloud. Sapnap fought against it but before he knew it, his eyes were slipping shut and he was falling into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I NOW HAVE A BETA!!!!!!  
> she is so pog and has the best mf ideas so please go check her out on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2E7oDnMLCzvA6D9LU111wg/videos) and twitter (Lunar_ArtistYT)!!  
> if u comment or kudos i love u w my entire soul thank u sm for reading   
> <333


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: STARVATION, REFRENCES TO TORTURE AND SELF-HARM

Sam breathed a sigh of relief once Sapnap was finally knocked out. He’d seen the man angry plenty of times (the blaze hybrid had always had a rather short temper) but never like... _ that _ . Sapnap was more fire than man and every single attack was filled with the obvious intent to kill. It was fucking terrifying. 

He tried to get up but stopped immediately as a fresh wave of pain shot through him. Just because Sapnap hadn’t gotten to kill him did not mean he got away unscathed. Almost every part of his body was bruised, cut, or broken in some way. God, that man could pack a punch when he wanted to. 

He was about to ask if anyone had a healing potion before a shout from the other side of the room stopped him. 

“What the hell?” All of the blood drained out of his face as he looked up to see George making his way towards him. “Why would you stop him! Did you not hear a single word that DreamXD said?” Thankfully, instead of heading for him, George stoped by Sapnap. He dropped to his knees, pulling Sapnap out of the arms of the ones who were restraining him and into his lap. 

“Well we couldn’t just let him kill Sam,” Quackity shot back. “Sam’s the Warden! Of course, he’s going to need to punish the prisoner sometimes.” Sam smiled at Quackity. Quackity understood what had been trying to achieve! Hell, he was half the reason Sam was even able to do what he did.

“Thank you.” Sam winced at the pain in his side as he spoke but kept going. “Look, Dream believed he still had power. And if he believed it, he would try to make it come true. And even more than that, we needed to know what was in the book. So, I did what I had to do. I broke him.” It hadn’t been easy to do so, Dream wasn’t never one to go down without a fight. But even the toughest would crack if you put enough pressure. 

_ (“SAM! You forgot to drop my potatoes for the day.” Sam grinned as he heard the prisoner call out to him. He’d been waiting for him to notice the missing food.  _

_ Still smiling, he responded. “I didn’t forget. You’re just not getting them.” After a week of Dream still refusing to disclose information on the book, he and Quackity had decided to change their gameplan a bit and they started with something simple: denying food.  _

_ “What? What do you mean? Sam, you can’t just- not feed me.” Dream sputtered. God, Sam would kill to have a way to see his face right now.  _

_ “Food is a privilege. Respect and listen to me and you’ll get it. Maybe if you apologize and ask nicely, I’ll drop a few. And I’ve told you this before, you are to address me as Warden. I’m not your friend.” The prisoner tried to argue with him but Sam didn’t dignify him a response and just let him shout. Eventually, he fell silent but still offered no apology.  _

_ Fine. Sam could keep this going as long as he needed to.  _

_ It took nearly a week for Dream to break. He spent most of that time trying to argue or convince him into dropping food down but every time he as much as raised his voice, Sam would go quiet and stop responding. After realizing it was getting him nowhere, Dream stopped and instead opted to just stay silent for an entire day. The only time Sam actually heard him make a noise was during his session with Quackity but he always screamed so that wasn’t much of a surprise. Finally, they were getting somewhere.  _

_ The next day that Sam walked into the cell room, Dream had finally given up.  _

_ “Sam...Sam please give me food. I’m sorry for the arguing just drop me something before I end up dying of hunger.” Sam could barely keep the grin from his face. He had addressed him with the wrong name but they could work on that later.  _

_ “Finally, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” And then, he pushed the button to dispense the food into his cell, clicking it twice for good measure. It was important to reinforce positive behavior after all.  _

_ Even though the wall of lava, Sam could hear the blonde rush over to grab them. It was almost humorous to see what was once the ruler of the server get so excited over raw potatoes. It gave him a rush of power that was almost intoxicating. How far could he take this?) _

George stared at him in horror. “Break him? Sam, you sound worse than Dream what the hell.” 

Sam was taken aback at the accusation. “How can you even say that? Dream was a power-hungry monster that needed his ego checked. He hurt  _ children _ . He deserves everything that we did to him. Besides, don’t act all high and mighty. You agreed to let me put them in there. You know I have ultimate authority over the prison. If I say he needed that, he needed it.” 

George looked a bit shaken at the words like he’d just realized something he wished he hadn’t but immediately composed himself. “Exactly!  _ Was _ . He’s dead now. He died protecting us. And even before that, he was stuck in a literal cell, what kind of power is he going to get in there? You just sound like a sadistic lunatic.” 

Sam choose to ignore what he was saying and prod at the wound he seemed to have opened up. “Oh? Did you forget about that part? That you agreed to let me take him? Not even. You thanked me! You thanked me for keeping the server safe and locking him up in there. And now all of a sudden you’re acting like Dream never did anything wrong.” 

George didn’t respond but by his guilty expression, Sam’s words had worked exactly as they were intended to. But right before it looked like he might start crying again, his face morphed into one of confusion. “What do you mean  _ we _ ?” A heavy feeling grew in Sam’s stomach as he realized his mistake. “You said ‘everything that we did to him.' You and who, Sam?” 

You see, he and Quackity hadn’t exactly shared the knowledge of his visits to anyone else on the SMP. If it got out that he was letting someone in there with weapons, it would be disastrous. The last thing he wanted was outside interference with the prison. But now, there really didn’t seem a way out of admitting it. 

“...Quackity.” He spat out, “Quackity was the one that helped me.” 

George stared at Quackity in surprise before speaking again in a soft, shaky voice. “Quackity what did you do?”

When he received no answer, DreamXD jumped back into the conversation. “Either you explain everything or I will. You’re lucky your not dead for what you did.” 

“Fine! Fine fine fine, I’ll explain,” Quackity began. “Dream had knowledge about the revival book that I needed. He refused to budge so, I turned to something I knew that even he would eventually fall too. Violence.” There was a maniacal grin on Quackity’s face now that even Sam felt off-put by. “Everday for over a year, I went over there and I tortured him until he fucking screamed and _begged me to stop_. You can hate me for it if you want to George but just know that I will never regret a second of it. I don’t even care that I never got the information before the egg took me and I had to stop. All I care about is that that Dream suffered.” The silence that followed was suffocating and even Sam was at a loss for words. He’d been there for every day of the torture- hell, he’d even helped Quackity- but seeing him talk like that gave Sam an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that he shoved down immediately. 

All of a sudden, there was a blur of motion and Bad was storming up to Quackity. Then, to the whole room’s shock, he pulled an arm back and slammed it right into the other’s face. A sickening crunch went throughout the room and there wasn’t a doubt in Sam’s head that Quackity’s nose was broken. 

Even Bad himself looked surprised at his actions but it only lasted a moment before his attention was back to Quackity. 

“Are you  _ insane _ ? You spent your days going to a prison to torture a defenseless man for something you barely even care about. Quackity you- you complete utter-” Bad looked too frustrated to even speak at this point. His fist was clenching and unclenching like he was trying not to punch him again. Bad was visibly trembling with rage, his white eyes glowing and wings stretched out threateningly. “And Sam!” Sam’s head snapped up as his name was called. “You let him? Not even, you- you helped him! Sam, you were Dream’s friend. He gave you the title of Warden because he thought you would be fair and just to the prisoners. And instead you two tortured Dream. He couldn’t even help himself! You  _ monsters _ . I can’t even look at you two right now.” The demon glared at them both once more before turning to George. “C’mon George. Here, I’ll carry Sapnap. We need to get out of here before we end up causing a massacre.” After picking up Sapnap and pulling George along, Bad turned around and shot one more glare at Quackity. “And by the way, you are  _ not _ marrying my son.”

Sam stared helplessly as he watched the trio leave. Even Quackity had fallen silent now. He couldn’t...they couldn’t have been that bad. Dream had deserved what happened to him. He was the villain of the server, the one that destroyed everything good they had, he had hurt Tommy and Tubbo! Dream was evil. Everything they’d done was just a consequence of his actions. But despite that, the heavy feeling in Sam’s gut only grew. 

“Big Q, we were doing what was best for the server...right?” Sam asked hesitantly, just loud enough for Quackity to hear. 

Quackity nodded. “Yeah, of course, we were. Bad just doesn’t know what he’s talking about. They’re just grieving right now. But they’ll remember how bad Dream was soon enough. I mean,” Quackity let out a nervous laugh, “He wouldn’t actually stop Sapnap from marrying me, right?” 

“...Right.” Sam tried to make it sound convincing but it fell flat even to him.

Thankfully, another voice saved him from needing to reassure Quackity. “What the fuck was that?” Sam turned to see Tommy. The boy was looking at him in...fear?

No. No, that couldn’t be right. Why would Tommy be scared of him? Everything Sam did was to protect him. To make up for letting him die, for his failure. But now the blond-haired boy was looking at him the same way that George and Bad had. 

How badly had Sam managed to mess things up?

\-----

TommyInnit would like to go on record and say:  _ he did not like Dream _ . Dream was evil and he was ugly and sometimes Tommy still woke up screaming at memories of the man. 

But that didn’t mean that Tommy had ever wanted the man  _ dead _ . Because even though Dream was terrible and a bitch and Tommy hated him, he couldn’t help but feel ridiculously guilty every time he thought of the man. The feeling wasn’t recent, but he’d always been able to push it down and ignore it up until now. He had first properly recognized it in the middle of a therapy session with Puffy. 

_ (“So, what is it that you want to talk about today?” Puffy asked gently. Tommy had been going to therapy for a couple of months at this point and though he would never admit it, it was helping him drastically.  _

_ “I dunno...I just. I’ve been thinking.” Tommy said slowly and Puffy nodded at him to continue. “About the cell and the prison and all that. Like, not even about the whole dying thing or Dream but about like, the cell itself. It was just so...bad. I mean I spent like a month in there and it was just terrible. I mean, you know he didn’t even feed us for a while? While I was presumed dead or whatever. It took him forever to even realize I was there cause he just never came and checked in. And...that’s fucked, isn’t it? I can’t stop thinking about it for some reason. Sam’s the Warden for fuck’s sake. I dunno. Thinking about it just makes me feel...not good.” _

_ Puffy had a look of concern on her face but then again, she almost always looked concerned at what Tommy said so that was nothing new. “So do you feel...resentful that he wasn’t there?” _

_ Tommy shrugged. “A bit but there’s something more. Like, look, Sam’s a good guy and all. But thinking about all that in addition to the whole literally letting Dream kill me thing- I just don’t think he’s a good Warden. And I mean, that cell was terrible. Zero out of five stars- would not go again. I only spent a couple of weeks there and I felt terrible by the end of it. Just feels kinda wrong to leave someone there.” _

_ “You don’t need to feel guilty, Tommy. He hurt you and he deserves to be in there.”  _

_ A small part of Tommy is tempted to try and make her understand where he’s coming from. Because she wasn’t there. She didn’t have to feel the overwhelming heat or have to try and bite through a hard raw potato every time she was hungry or even watch the genuine excitement in Dream’s eyes every time the clock hit ‘Happy Hour’. But again, that part was small. So, Tommy shoved it down and moved right on to the next subject. He rarely thought about it after that.) _

He recalled the conversation now and bitterly wondered if anything would have changed if he actually told Puffy how bad it was. Maybe she would have made sure that Sam was treating Dream correctly. Maybe it would have prevented Sam and Quackity from torturing him. Maybe Dream wouldn’t be dead. Or maybe things would have turned out the exact same way. 

Sam looked at him in disbelief. “Tommy, you can’t seriously be on Dream’s side.”

“I’m not on Dream’s side. It’s not if I liked Dream or not.  _ Hell no _ . It was if you two literally torturing him was okay or not. And no! Look, I don’t. I’m not-” Tommy sighed as he searched for the right words. “I don’t know what I’m feeling right now but I know that what you did was fucked. It was so fucked.” 

“Honestly, I have to agree with Tommy on this one,” Fundy spoke up. “None of us like Dream, he was evil, but that is not okay.” Almost everyone in the room was nodding in agreement now and Tommy felt a bit relieved that he wasn’t the only one that felt the situation was wrong. Other than George, Sapnap, and Bad, of course, but they had known Dream for much longer than anyone else so no one was surprised at that. 

“I do have a couple more questions about that actually,” DreamXD said and dread immediately began creeping up on Tommy. Every time the god spoke, it just got worse and worse. “Why are all of you so insistent that Dream is evil? Because I’ve watched every single thing that happened on this server. First, let me explain Dream a bit. Dream came from me, he was a part of me. And what that means is that Dream would do  _ anything _ if he believed it might protect the server. He is a protector. It’s in his very code. So, when he invites a couple of people over to his land. When he trusts them enough to bring them here and they start to break two out of the three simple rules we have. When they start selling drugs and they try to divide the land and make an entirely new nation. When they create chaos and conflict in lands that used to be peaceful and then label him a villain for stopping it. What did you expect him to do?” DreamXD makes direct eye contact with Tommy, obviously waiting for an answer. 

Tommy shrinks under the pressure and stutters out an answer. “I-I mean if he just let us make L’manburg then we wouldn’t have any of these issues. He could’ve just let us be happy!” 

“So you wanted him to give up part of  _ his _ lands for a country that started in a drug van? Look at me in the eyes and tell me that wouldn’t immediately set off his protective instincts.” 

Tommy ignored DreamXD and changed tactics. “What about exile then? Forcing my best friend to exile me and keep anyone from visiting me? The way he fuckin manipulated me!”

“I’m not going to defend the manipulation.” Tommy smile at the small victory. “I’m not denying that he did terrible things. He put you through something that you should never have had to experience, especially being a child, and you have the right to be as angry you want for that. I’m just setting the record straight. Tubbo chose to exile you. And for good reason. You burned down the house of George and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why that would make Dream mad. Dream loved George more than anything else. And then you decided it was a good idea to taunt him with  _ the remains of his dead horse _ . Does that sound familiar at all, Tommy? Someone taking a prized possession and using it against you? Look, I’m sorry for what he did to you and I know he apologized to you so he is as well. You don’t have to forgive him, I’m not expecting you to. I just want you all to realize he isn’t this huge evil villain that you all like to think he is. Dream did not deserve to be in that prison. Yes, he deserved punishment for what he did but Dream received no trial, no chance at redemption, and was placed under inhumane conditions for years.”

Puffy spoke next, to Tommy’s surprise. “We didn’t know! If we knew what Quackity and Sam were doing- we would have stopped them. Of course, we would have. But he was a danger to the SMP, we couldn’t just let him free!” 

DreamXD sighed. “Then why didn’t you try to help him? In fact, I can recall you saying he didn’t ‘deserve’ your help. You all called him a villain and hurt his lands to the point that Dream snapped and then just abandoned him in a prison without another thought. And none of you get the privilege of playing ignorant. Tommy, you knew the conditions of the prison. And I know for a fact that every person in this room saw the death messages. You were all aware that he was actively hurting himself daily and you all did nothing. And  _ everyone _ in this room has committed crimes and done unforgivable things. Everyone here is a danger to the SMP. Or, what, does it only count when it’s Dream?” 

This time, the room was silent. Was it fair? Tommy really didn’t want to think about it. Not now when it was too late. Not when Dream already dead and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

But he couldn’t help it. DreamXD had planted a seed of guilt- 

No. It had already existed, XD had only watered it

Before he could stop it, a tear fell down his cheek.  Tommy was never one to cry but the weight of his mistakes was too heavy for him to stop the onslaught of tears that came. Was this the weight of the world the greek figure, Atlas, carried around? Why did his heart feel so heavy? 

All he knew was one thing: they’d fucked up. They’d fucked up so badly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL THANK U TO MY BETA AGAIN U ARE A GENIUS  
> her youtube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2E7oDnMLCzvA6D9LU111wg/videos) and her twitter is Lunar_ArtistYT
> 
> also the support for this fic has genuinely been so insane and its motivated me so much hhhh i seriously love all of u sm  
> everytime someone comments i get so increadibly happy just <3333 i love u all so much 
> 
> and i hope yall like this chapter! this is the most and fastest ive written so far so WOOP. but i got a TON of comments last chapter and comments are the absolute best motivation so i speedran it 
> 
> thank u sm for reading i love u all


	4. Chapter 4

Puffy had always prided herself on how well she fixed problems. Even when she was just a child, she was known around her village for always having the perfect advice you needed to hear on the tip of her tongue and a perfect shoulder to cry on. She could fix any problem and always carried a couple of extra bandages in her pockets. But as she grew up, things changed. 

She wasn’t helping people choose if they should pick one friend over the other but their family or their country. Injuries couldn’t be fixed with bandages anymore. Betrayals became lethal. Fights were violent. Nightmares couldn’t be chased away with a simple look under the bed anymore. Children weren’t play-fighting with wooden swords but in full netherite and with their lives on the line. She couldn’t fix  _ anything _ and worst of all, it was Dream behind it all. 

Dream, her son, her  _ duckling _ was hurting people, hurting children for god’s sake. So, Puffy turned to the only other solution she could think of- she yelled. She screamed at him until her lungs were hoarse and her son was crying. When she was done, she would leave the house, ignoring Niki’s calls to come back, and go to the forest she found him in. 

_ (The blur moved so quickly Puffy almost thought she imagined it for a moment. She stopped walking and turned back to squint into the forest.  _

_ “Hello?” She called out hesitantly. “Is anyone there?” She waited but no one answered. So, she let it be and kept walking. Puffy was in the middle of a forest, after all. She wouldn’t be surprised if it was just some wild animal.  _

__

_ But only half an hour later, she spotted it again. And the next day. And every day for the week after that. Each time, they moved too fast for her to properly see who they were and refused to answer any of her calls. The only solid fact she had at this point was that it was a human and judging by their size, probably a child.  _

_ No matter where she went, they were only a couple of feet away.  _

_ “You’re like a baby duck to its mother,” Puffy remarked aloud when she knew the child was near. “Oh! That’s what I can call you for now! My duckling.” Her duckling didn’t answer but she took the small wooden duck she found near her usual forest path the next day an answer enough.  _

_ It was obviously homemade, the quality surprisingly good for someone their age, and had a small smile carved into the bottom- almost like a signature. She tucked it into one of her pockets and smiled for the entirety of her walk that day.  _

_ Eventually, when Puffy was making her way through a particularly dangerous part of the forest, she finally got the chance to meet him. _

_ Honestly, she had been hoping that her duckling would stay back this time and had even warned them several times but when she heard a loud cry of pain as she made her way back from it, she knew her warnings went unanswered.  _

_ Behind her, fallen to the floor, was her duckling. He had blond hair, a bright green sweater, and only appeared to be about eight years old or so.  _

_ Immediately, she rushed over to him. “Duckling! I thought I warned you not to follow me. Are you okay? Here, where does it hurt?”  _

_ “Leg...” The boy mumbled and Puffy set to work bandaging the cut immediately.  _

_ “Can I ask why you’ve been following me now, duckling?” Puffy asks him when she's done as she scoops him up to carry him back home. The boy melts into the touch immediately and latches onto her like a lifeline.  _

_ “I liked your hat! Also, m’ names Dream. I like being a duck though.” Puffy can’t help but grin at him. Dream was adorable.  _

_ They continue talking as they walk. Dream tells her about his friend (Sappy, Sap, or Napnap- honestly she can’t tell which one, if any, are his actual name) and his older brother who he just refers to as ‘Dee’. Eventually, they reach a small clearing in the middle of the forest and Dream asks her to stop. _

_ “Here! I’m home.” Puffy looks around for any sign of a house, confused but receives none. “Dee! XD! I’m here!” There’s a bright flash and suddenly a man donning green and blue robes and feathery white wings is in front of her. Puffy’s mouth goes dry as she realizes who it is.  _

_ DreamXD. The god of the server.  _

_ “Thank you for keeping him safe.” He nods at her before taking her duckling in his arms and disappearing once again, leaving Puffy standing there in shock.  _

_ Dream is back again the next day, still following her around but now willing to actually talk. Eventually, she discovered that Dream followed her every day because DreamXD was always off doing his duties and offered for him to move in. He accepted immediately.  _

_ DreamXD still visited constantly (and only even allowed the arrangement after she swore to protect him no matter what) but soon enough, the pair had become an odd sort of family. He even began calling her ‘papa’. Honestly, it was the happiest Puffy had ever been.) _

Puffy wished she could go back to that. She wishes Dream was still small and the biggest fight they got into was when she caught George sneaking in at midnight. She wishes he had never become whatever he is today. She wishes she had tried to talk to him when he started changing instead of just yelling. She wishes she had visited him in prison instead of putting all of her efforts into helping Tommy. She wished she had listened to every instinct in her that screamed that something was wrong from the very first death message. She wishes she had given him a chance at redemption. She wishes her duckling wasn't dead. 

But wishes are just that: wishes. 

“You failed him,” DreamXD says, looking at her in the eyes. His gaze burned and Puffy wanted to look away but she couldn’t find it in herself to do so. “You promised me you would take care of him and protect him but you didn’t even think he was worthy of getting help. I guess as much as he considered you a mother, you never considered him your son.” A pain, unlike anything she’d ever felt shoots through her at his words. “You only decided to care about him when he’s gone.” DreamXD shakes his head. “I’m going to go see how George and the rest are doing now. You all have wasted enough of my time trying to argue with me. Goodbye.” And just like that, he’s gone. 

The room is silent other than the muffled sounds of people crying. It takes her a couple of moments to realize she is one of them. 

Finally, someone speaks. “What do we do now?” 

Puffy’s answer is immediate. “We need to punish Sam and Quackity. And we need to tear down the prison. I never want to see it again. Ever.” Even if they don’t agree, Puffy would do it herself. She would tear down every block of that place and burn the remains. She would do it with her bare hands if needed, indestructible or not, it wouldn't matter.

“What if we reform it instead?” Conner asks. Puffy glares at him and his eyes widen as he sees her. “I- I mean look. I never really talked to Dream that much so maybe it’s different for me but consider this. We just change the prison so it’s not a repeat of what happened with Dream. And then, hold a trial for those two. Look, it’s fair. I know you all want to just kill them but if you don’t establish a proper system- this kind of stuff is going to keep happening.” Puffy pauses. That’s not the  _ worst _ idea, to be honest. Actually, it might even be more satisfying to see the assholes locked up in the same prison they hurt her baby in rather than tearing it apart. Failure of a mother or not, she would at least do this for her duckling.

“What the hell? You can’t put us in there!” Quackity shouted. 

Puffy snapped her head in his direction and held her sword up, an obvious threat. She wasn’t the only one either. Almost every sword in the room was drawn now. “You,” Puffy hissed, “Are going to shut the hell up before you find yourself dead.”

The threat had no effect on him and he opened his mouth to speak again when Sam spoke up. “Quackity just stop...We messed up. There’s no getting out of this one.”

A half-laugh half-sob came out of Puffy before she could stop it. “Seriously? You regret it  _ now _ ? Now when he’s dead. Not when you were literally torturing him daily? Now, when it’s too late. I…” she trailed off, “I’m such a hypocrite. We’re all such hypocrites.” And Puffy was crying again, tears falling heavy and fast down her face. 

This time though, she feels the familiar arms of her wife surround her and falls into the embrace immediately.  _ Niki _ . 

“Oh, c’mere Puffy. It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” The pink-haired woman’s voice is soft but Puffy can tell she’s crying as well by the way it shakes. Niki hadn’t been around Dream nearly as long as Puffy but she held a special spot for him all the same. 

Puffy allowed the rest of the world to fall away and let her sword clatter to the ground as the arms tightened around her and lead them both to the floor.

_ ‘I don’t deserve this, _ ’ Puffy thought faintly as Niki rubbed small circles into her back and murmured to her gently.  _ ‘Dream never got this kind of comfort when he was hurting. I just yelled at him.’  _

Puffy had pushed everyone away, including Niki and  _ especially _ Dream, for the sake of Tommy. Niki didn't deserve that. She had been hurt, so many times, yet Puffy ignored that and pushed Niki away. And Dream.  _ Dream _ . Her darling, her son, her baby duckling who she had failed so miserably. She ignored the signs, ignored his silent cries for help, and went along with what everyone else had said. She failed them both, the people she loved most, for Tommy. Tommy who had suffered. Tommy who already had the help of many but every time she saw him, all she could feel was guilt that her child had hurt him. So, she helped him. And she stayed by him and she put every ounce of her energy into it. Neither Niki nor Dream ever had that kind of help for their trauma. Something she could have provided but didn't. 

She pulled herself away from Niki, ignoring the concerned look on her face, and tuned back into the conversation 

“Seriously Sam, how could you?” Ponk was yelling. “We’ve known Dream for years and what? All of that’s gone. I can’t believe you.” Puffy relished the hurt look on Sam’s face at the other’s words. He deserved every bit of pain he felt.

Quackity, on the other hand, barely seemed fazed.

Even when Fundy spoke, there was not a single sign of remorse. “Quackity. Look, man, we went through so much crap together. Shlatt’s cabinet, L’manburg, even the Butcher Army and...I can’t even stand to  _ look _ at you right now.” 

Quackity just laughed in response. “I lost all respect for you when you betrayed us on doomsday. Your words don’t mean  _ jack shit _ to me, alright?” Puffy grabbed her sword back from the floor, hands shaking. If she had to  _ make _ him regret it, she would. 

“What about mine?” Quackity’s face fell immediately at the sound of Karl’s voice and Puffy almost laughed. “I don’t even know what to say to you. I really thought I managed to stop you this time. But I never can.” Puffy had no idea what Karl was talking about but the brunette looked distraught. He wasn’t even looking at Quackity, just staring at the golden ring encircling his finger. After a moment of silence, he took it off. “...The engagement’s off. ” Karl opened his hand and let the band of gleaming gold fall to the ground. 

Puffy probably shouldn’t have found such enjoyment in watching a breakup but she couldn’t help it. Quackity had hurt her duckling. 

“Karl? Karl, come back. KARL I’M SORRY. KARL.” Quackity was desperately shouting and trying to reach him now but Puffy moved and held a sword to his neck before he could even properly stand up. Karl didn’t answer him and continued to walk away as the man in front of them broke down. “Look, it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that bad, right Sam? Sam, you gotta help me here. I was just- Karl. Karl c’mon.” But Karl was gone. 

Puffy didn’t have a doubt in her mind that Sapnap would do something  _ much _ worse when he discovered the truth. He was always quite the overprotective type, especially when he and Dream were younger. Dream was the same, to be honest. She couldn’t even count the number of times she’d found one of them beat up with the only excuse of ‘defending their brother’s honor’. Despite her chiding them to stop, her heart melted every time. It was sweet. 

And it would never happen again, she realized bitterly. It would never happen again because Dream was gone and he had died protecting them one last time. 

But before she could spiral anymore, her attention was turned to the loud sound of wood splintering and hinges groaning as a new figure kicked down the door. 

Techno ran into the room, sword in hand and ready to fight, but froze once he saw the scene in front of him. Slowly, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Philza followed him, weapons drawn and confusion evident on their faces as well. 

“What the hell happened here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READERS MY BELOVED!   
> I made myself very sad with this chapter. Initially, it was supposed to have fluff but I severely underestimated how much I was going to write for puffy so i had to cut it out rip.   
> I also procrastinated my essay SO bad. the second im done typing this i need to work on it.   
> and as always thank u smmm to my beta (Lunar_ArtistYT on twitter and Lunar Artist on youtube) she helps me so much its insane pls go check her out   
> ALSO THANK U SM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. my end note is getting way too long but yall genuinely have no idea how happy ur comments and kudos make me i love u all so much and its my absolute favorite thing to read them- i get so ridiculously happy   
> :3

**Author's Note:**

> okay! sorry that took a while i just wanted to figure out certain stuff before i started writing
> 
> to be entirely honestly even after a lot of thinking i still am not 100% set on a way to go yet but well see ig  
> anyway hope yall liked this chapter! 
> 
> expect updates every 2-3 days. constructive criticism is appreciated. and i love all of u that comment and kudos. <3


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